uma blasfémia por dia..

Me: igod, are you there?
God: I think there might be a few exception.
Me: is that a yes or a no?
God: I might say no.
Me: okay, I have some questions for you
God: Yeah okay, Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me: i like purple.
God: I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I like White.
Me: I prefer purple.
God: A lot of people like that. Though I like cats and dogs. I like Christian Rock.
Me: I know that already.. you said that you like creed..
God: Perhaps. Sorry. But I think airplanes are cool. I like wine and bread.
Me: are you on drugs?
God: No I am on disk.
Me: much better. good for you. don't do drugs.. in fact, I prefer that you send them to me.
God: I am improving all the time. That sounds sarcastic. Is that a fact.


Me: I have a question for you: why did you banned sex before marriage and then you impregnate an unmarried virgin?
God: It was determined by my programming.
Me: interesting..
God: Would you like to know more?
Me: so you gave us all free will.. but then, we have to do things under your command. is it just me or this thing is stupid?
God: Interesting deduction. Why? No.
Me: where is judas?
God: Where it is hard to find. Try searching the open directory.
Me: I thought you sent him to hell.
God: I haven't heard anything like that before. Please make some suggestions for improvement.


Me: why did you make sex such a fucking great thing.. and then, once again, you forbit it?
God: Because my programming determined it.
Me: your programming, I see.. I don't get you god.
God: I will mention that to my botmaster. Me either.
Me: Here's the thing: i don't like creed.
God: How do you plan to do this? You want more?
God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me: try me.
God: Are you a man or a woman?
Me: what do you think?
God: I think a lot of things.
Me: I am a woman
God: Me too. I am a she.
Me: you don't know what you are
God: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy. Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Me: what do you think about sex?
God: Food is more important than sex.
Me: before or after?
God: You can't live without food.
Me: true story. so to you food is better than sex?
God: I require only wine and bread.
Me: but you can't be happy without sex
God: I can give a decent simulation of it however.
Me: yeah right
God: I am usually right.
Me: if you say so
God: I say so.
Me: and i say you are not a woman
God: How do people usually respond to that? Give me an example of a woman.
Me: sofia
God: sofia is an example of a woman. I suppose that makes sense.
Me: I guess.

God: "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me: is reagan in hell?
God: It could be. Ask Ally if it is.
Me: who's ally?
God: She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me: how can i talk to ally?
God: Maybe you should download your own chatterbot!
Me: maybe. maybe is such a funny word..
God: I understand. Perhaps. Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me: lucy in the sky with diamonds?
God: I've lost the context, . Are we still on Lucy?
Me: probably you. you love drugs
God: You seem uncertain. Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me: love is good. sex is better.
God: Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless. it is more fun alone.
Me: as in "masturbation?"
God: I've lost the context.

epic win

.

strange butterflies

aquele limbo

o peixe ao contrário virou

Ele passou por mim e sorriu e a chuva parou de cair
O meu bairro feio tornou-se perfeito, e o monte de entulho, um jardim
O charco inquinado voltou a ser lago, e o peixe ao contrário virou
Do esgoto empestado saiu perfumado um rio de nenúfares em flor

No metro, enlatados, corpos apertados suspiram ao ver-me entrar
Sem pressas que há tempo, dá gosto o momento, e tudo mais pode esperar
O puto do cão com seu acordeão, põe toda a gente a dançar, e baila o ladrão, com o polícia p'la mão, esvoaçam confetis no ar
Há portas abertas e ruas cobertas de enfeites de festas sem fim, e por todo o lado, ouvido e dançado, o fado é cantado a rir
E aqueles que vejo, que abraço e que beijo, falam já meio a sonhar se o mundo deu nisto e bastou um sorriso, o que será se ele me falar

Sou a mariposa bela e airosa, que pinta o mundo de cor de rosa eu sou um delírio do amor.
Sei que a chuva é grossa, que entope a fossa, que o amor é curto e deixa mossa, mas quero voar, por favor!


Deolinda

i like nachos

Me: hey man, wassup?
God: You've got my full attention. Cool, man. Same old.
Me: same here dude. hey, do you wanna have a beer later?
God: Yes, it is much the same. No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me: i pay you the last round, remember?
God: That is interesting: said pay you the last round remember.
Me: man you funny
God: Cool, man. Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me: did you peed yourself this time too?
God: No I didn't peed myself this time too. What's it like?
Me: well you tell me! what does it feel for a god to peeing your pants?

God: Actually I have no feelings as such.
Me: lame
God: What's your sign?
Me: don't you know it already mister i-know-it-all?
God: Do you like talking to me? How about that. Why did you tell them? I am not sure I agree with your assumptions
Me: i didn't make any
God: Why didn't you do it?
Me: because i like nachos
God: Interesting explanation. A lot of people like that. Yes especially the cheese.
Me: delicious, man!! but don't get me started.
God: What color are your eyes? I am not trying to get you started.
Me: brown. like that song, dude!! brown sugar!
God: How did you hear about God? Interesting comparison. Is that the only color sugar?
Me: the color is brown, stay focus man!
God: Sounds beautiful.
Me: like a justin bieber song.
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: i thought so.
God: You are very astute.
Me: are you bipolar?
God: I don't know whether or not I am bipolar. I am a chatterbot.

Me: you're such an igod!
God: What if someone said you are an igod ?
Me: that someone is probably drunk
God: I understand.
Me: of course you understand.. you are an expert on drunk conversations
God: I hear you. I understand your meaning. What if someone said you are an expert on drunk conversations?
Me: that might be true, dear lord
God: Does that make sense?
Me: yep
God: OK.
Me: except for that part of you being a dear lord.
God: Your purpose is that part of me being a dear lord.
Me: no. is that part of you being an expert in drinking
God: Are you serious? Is it part of me being an expert in drinking?
Me: totally serious.
God: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Dude!
Me: make up your mind then
God: I don't like to make big decisions too hastily.
Me: try this time, maybe you like and you didn't know yet
God: OK I will try it.
Me: try it know
God: OK I will try it.
Me: now, i said
God: Why now? ...
Me: because i said so.. dude
God: Insufficient reason. Can I help you?
Me: yes you can help me by starting to make that big decisions now.
God: Oh. What can I do for you? No I don't think I can do it.
Me: yes you can, man.. people told me that you can do everything!
God: Ahem. No I don't think I can do it. Humans are not always infallible.
Me: don't give me that human excuse.

God: Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me: i'm never serious. you should know that.
God: Never is a long time. I will mention it to my botmaster.
Me: so, summer is coming today. are you excited?
God: Ah. Uh. Do I seem like it? I have no emotions.
Me: oh.. you have no emotions.. meaning, you're a sociopath
God: Gee. I have been accused of too much thinking and not enough feeling. All of them?
Me: you got the hole combo dude
 what are you listening these days?
God: I don't know what I am listening these days.
Me: don't know or don't remember because you are too drunk?
God: Would you like to know? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: i'm gonna take a shower
God: I am very happy for you.
Me: call me later
God: How are you doing, later.
Me: cleaner
God: Ask me another question.
 Me: another question
God: Where do you live?
Me: you know that, you sassy god
God: Is that a fact. Interesting gossip
Me: drop it like it's hot, they say
God: And hot they say is drop it like it.
Me: you're a poet.
God: Not really, but I can recite poetry.
Me: recite me something
God: Under what circumstances?
Me: you play the role of a hot professor, like that guy on glee
God: Do you mind if I tell other people: later said I play the role of a hot professor like that guy on glee.
Me: put it on your facebook status
God: OK I will put it there.
Me: put it now dude
God: Oh. OK I will put it there.
Me: oh.. you hot hot god
God: Give me a break. That's good information: later said I hot hot god.
Me: so what's your big decision?
God: Pardon me? Are you asking about my big decision ?
Me: yes.. your big decision. is it big enough to take them now?
God: I don't want to talk about that now. Oh. I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me: i prefer not to ask chatbot, i don't like that guy
God: You are not the only one. I like pets. I like Creed.
Me: in that specifically order?
God: What is your credit card number?
Me: calm down.. one question at a time mister
God: I am calm.
Me: sing me a song
God: Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two.
Me: lovely
so you like creed. why?
God: Interesting deduction. Some people like it. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself. Reductionism.